Stress Management 2

We have defined stress as a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that ‘the demand exceeds the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilise.’ Stress is therefore a perception on the part of the individual that creates a feeling or condition in the mind of that person. This feeling and condition paralyses the ‘genuine and real’ activity the individual ought to take in order to meet that demand. We have said that stress is neither the demand made nor the pressure applied but rather a condition and feeling within the person created by their perception that they are unable to mobilise enough resources to meet the demand. Many today are actually living stress-filled lives because they are living under an impression that life (i.e. their jobs, relationships etc) and the circumstances around them are making a demand which they cannot meet. High performers in society today are those who instead of experiencing stress when demands are made understand how to make use of the external pressure to create a condition within their minds that allows them connect with higher levels of human existence. It enables them tap into the spiritual resources available to them. These demands include those that daily life presents and those tasks that have deadlines attached. When an individual is under the influence of stress and decides to act due to the nature of that demand they engage in several activities that will never produce the desired effect. Bad judgement calls are made, poor decisions that lead to loss of money and other things. In order to be able to handle pressure successfully, it’s clear that the person must understand how to mobilise greater resources than that which appears readily available to them at the point of the demand. These resources must be brought in from heaven or their environment if results are to be achieved. The challenge of Christianity in modern society is to show that we have access to an infinite supply of resources made available on demand by the circumstances of our day i.e. go out into the world and preach the gospel. Not by using terminologies only known in our community, but through authentic results. David, Daniel and Jesus were individuals that did this in outstanding measures. Paul only had this to say,’ I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me’ (Phi 4:13). In becoming stressed people therefore have two choices: firstly, they must feel threatened by the situation and secondly they must assess whether their capabilities and resources are sufficient to meet the perceived threat. How stressed someone feels depends on how much damage they think the situation can inflict on them and how closely their resources meet the demands. When an adult sees a little child coming towards him with a baseball bat, he does not feel threatened because he knows that he can prevent the child from inflicting any bodily damage on him. On the other hand if a man you think is out of his senses walks up to you with the intent to harm you, stress can be created since you may perceive that the resources to overcome him are not available to you. This sense of threat is rarely physical even though we have used physical examples. At times it involves perceived threats to our social standing, other people’s opinions of us, promotion prospects in the course of our career or to our deeply held values. An example is the just concluded West African idols that took place as a result of the pressure some of the contestants were under at that particular point in time they performed under par and did not proceed further in the competition. We ought to look at our preparations for high performance tasks and our daily handling of issues that deal with our personal performance. Let it be clear that God’s solution to the demands is the enlargement of our present capacity and not for us to run away or fight those making the demand. The situation that the nation of Israel met with at the verge of the Promised Land is an example in case. The report of the ten spies was that, ‘giants inhabit the land.’ The reason they backed off was that they did not want to become giants, because it was only giants that were able to live there. They actually shrank from the internal growth and process of metamorphosis required to transform them from grasshoppers to giants. The truth was that you had to be a giant to get it a ‘grasshopper’ could not make it. Many things that people desire the place, position and the influence are a direct product of responding to pressure and could never open up to the mentally lazy. Jesus addressed the issue of stress when He said, ’consider the lilies how they grow’…they grow without stress. What this means is that once stress is generated within a person or an organisation in response to demands made, growth stops. You cannot add one cubit to your stature through anxiety as a response. So stress does not add it actually subtracts from the person. The short term effect of stress i.e. the flight or fight response deals mainly with stress produced for very short term issues e.g. David and Goliath. The second phase is long term stress, here individuals adapt to the pressure and the demands made on their careers and family life e.g. David and Saul. This prolonged exposure is where we learn a lot of things about life. What many do when handling the pressure of life is not to use it in increasing their performance levels but rather to adapt to the stress and learn to live with it. They do what the scriptures terms ’conform to the world’ or they let it squeeze them into its mould. Phases of long term stress ================== Alarm phase ========= This is an initial reaction to the stress e.g. David must have been alarmed at Saul’s reaction to him. Many people go into life with a very wrong preconception about what it would take to achieve things. In marriage, many enter and are alarmed at the pressure and demands that are made. Life is not a stroll in the park and the dignity and integrity of your person lies with how you handle pressure. When you say certain things under pressure it simply means that you have declared yourself unfit for life. Resistance phase ============== Here the individual internally resists and fights the pressure or the person they perceive is the source. It is very subtle – outwardly they are engaged in working and doing things on the ‘outside’ that makes it appear that they are responding to the demand but really and truly they are resisting the pressure. They might not have pulled out because they are ‘imprisoned’ by the situation e.g. they may not want to pull out of the marriage even though they are in that resistance phase because of the social stigma attached to this type of situation. They are not in it for the right reasons, but ‘flight’ they perceive would create greater stress. Again internally they might really be resisting the stress within the job and not responding correctly and want to flee but they question themselves about resigning because it might lead to more hardship and loss of financial security and so they stay with the job. The pleasure of work is lost, but the form remains. Here is where the great majority of people are and this accounts largely for the mediocrity we see in people. They appear to be interested but their heartfelt prayer is all about a way out. The opposite of resistance is submission or surrender to the fact that this is not the product of any person or the wickedness of any other person but the necessary pressure and demands one must face in order to become all one ought to be and live in the way God intended. It is to respond with thanksgiving and gladness of heart to the situation and to set oneself to learn things about life one has no clue about. The fact is too many people have an overestimation of their abilities and walk into life with unproven principles, in fact with no principles at all, thinking they know it all and need no one to teach them. They truly get alarmed at the things they face but in pride cover it up and try to hide it, even from God. Rather than thank Him in all meekness for the exposure of weakness and then learn spiritual methods that would make them a genius. What the church needs to wake up to is that the world might not be godly but everyone is spiritual and if we can tap into the intelligence of God (i.e. truly and not in a religious sense) the world would follow. Don’t forget Jesus never had a problem with the sinners but with the Pharisees (the religious leaders of the day). Peter had an overestimation of his ability and he needed to learn. The tools of advancement can’t be taught to a person who is internally resisting the pressure. One should not think more highly of himself than he ought to. The Exhaustion Phase ============== This is defined as a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion caused by long term involvement in emotionally demanding situations. Here the individual’s resistance energy becomes exhausted and then they experience a burn out, fatigue sets in. It is also a state of fatigue or frustration brought on by devotion to a cause, way of life or relationship that failed to produce expected rewards. At this stage/place one becomes disillusioned with life, career or relationships which gradually shows by a withdrawal from life. Exhaustion phase is when internal disorder sets in. It is believed that neurotic conditions start slipping in these are actually disorders within the mind stemming out of emotionally unstable states that lead to obviously bad decisions. A one-time ‘very good’ leader starts making very bad judgement calls because he/she is exhausted. This is why certain organisations replace their CEOs or top management that seemingly run out of ideas (the effect of exhaustion) in order to engender progress. In marriage, the man might appear to have ‘suddenly’ lost his love for his wife and family and gets involved in extra marital affairs. Even in the church, many who belonged to the workforce of the body are now exhausted and have lost total interest in the things of the ministry. Handling pressure deals with two areas 1. What you can control. 2. What you can’t control. Contained in things that you can control, we have principles like delegation, replacement, substitution etc that can be used to alleviate the pressure and ultimately make it cease to exist. In what you can’t control, we have issues like constant traffic jams on the way to work, loss of a loved one, working with disagreeable people, bad weather, e.t.c An example is a man who experienced hurricane Katrina. Though his house was damaged, more havoc was wrecked by his imagination than by the effect of Katrina. He kept on worrying that his inability to do certain things (consequence of the hurricane) might lead to huge financial debt. His perception of the situation was the root cause of the stress instead of having a grateful attitude about what was saved, he was worrying about what might happen (which eventually did not) and that created intense stress. The key to stress alleviation is the knowledge of how to directly access the wisdom of God which releases His ability into your life. A divine process that God’s taking you through in order to qualify you to stand in the office that He wants to place you. A time of teaching and training where the capacity developed will enable you take possession of the particular land He has earmarked for you. Undergoing this training process enables you to enter into the ‘land’ as a giant once you have rightly satisfied all the demands. If you don’t undergo the process and you eventually possess those things you’ll discover that you’ll derive no pleasure from them, ultimately they’ll bring pain and destruction into your life (i.e. the weight of glory 2 Corinthians 4:17) will be too burdensome for you to bear.

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